Today was D day of sorts. I had a long anticipated appointment with my surgeon. So anticipated that I showed up for it two weeks ago. I would love to blame it on chemo brain, but I think I really just wanted her to give me some good news.
The way this whole chemo thing works is that it obliterates your tumor. So much so that upon examination your Dr. can tell if it is working or not.
All along I have felt that we were getting the results we wanted. Today my Dr. confirmed it - the chemo is working, and she no longer feels the tumor in my breast or my lymph nodes.
Which lead to a little Eikenberry celebration tonight.
The plan is - chemo will end the last week of September - I will have a bilateral mastectomy on October 18th along with reconstruction.
Of course there has to be some drama involved. For me it will be whether the lymph nodes are clear of cancer - if they are (which I know they will be) we are cancer free. If not radiation will get me there, it will just take a little longer.
No matter what my port will stay with me for about another 11 months. Because of the type of cancer I have, I will still receive treatment every 3 weeks until July of 2012. This is not chemo, but a medication that has shown amazing success in knocking cancer on its ass forever.
So there will be two celebrations. One in November to celebrate the first phase of cancerland being over, and then a big blow out next year, when my port is removed and the oncologist office is a place I no longer visit.
We are getting there kids - thank you all for your support - I feel it every day.
Healing and Dealing
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Day 95 - small graces
While I was going through the airport the other day I ran into another baldy. Other than chemo days it is the first baldy I had seen since this whole thing started.
Sort of like being a dodo bird and running into your own kind.
She was in full competitive airport mode, shot me a knowing smile and whizzed on her way.
And I thought to myself...Bossy.
On the way back home, through another airport, I stripped myself and got ready to walk through the x-ray. As I walked through the agent told me to stop. Then very sweetly asked, "may I please peak under your hat".
I had completely forgotten about my cancer for a moment, and that I was wearing a hat. I told her it was no problem for me to put it through the machine, but she said that wouldn't be necessary.
Then she squeezed my hand, and sent me on my way.
Sort of like being a dodo bird and running into your own kind.
She was in full competitive airport mode, shot me a knowing smile and whizzed on her way.
And I thought to myself...Bossy.
On the way back home, through another airport, I stripped myself and got ready to walk through the x-ray. As I walked through the agent told me to stop. Then very sweetly asked, "may I please peak under your hat".
I had completely forgotten about my cancer for a moment, and that I was wearing a hat. I told her it was no problem for me to put it through the machine, but she said that wouldn't be necessary.
Then she squeezed my hand, and sent me on my way.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Day 94 - It's not a competition
Chemo again - only 9 more to go. It is so nice to be in the single digits!
We had team baldy in the house today, me and two other 40 year olds were all getting treatment at the same time. The youngest of the group was receiving her last treatment. We all cheered when her IV was removed.
Doug couldn't understand why there were not balloons. He kept saying, "she should have balloons". Which just made me laugh.
After treatment we decided to go have a cup of tea. Doug was telling me how several people have come up to him and told him that this whole thing is harder on him than on me.
I just laughed.
Thankfully Doug totally disagrees. He explained that there are days when I can't get out of bed. That I have copious amounts of chemicals flowing through my veins, that I lost all my hair, that I am facing major surgery.
All he has to do is pick up the slack at home a little bit. And since he already worked super hard this really is not a big deal to him.
He asked me what I thought. And I told him that anyone who thinks this is harder on him than me is utterly clueless.
Then he told me it might be fun to get his MBA.
And I realized he really is going off the deep end.
Healing and Dealing and super excited to only have 9 more weeks!
We had team baldy in the house today, me and two other 40 year olds were all getting treatment at the same time. The youngest of the group was receiving her last treatment. We all cheered when her IV was removed.
Doug couldn't understand why there were not balloons. He kept saying, "she should have balloons". Which just made me laugh.
After treatment we decided to go have a cup of tea. Doug was telling me how several people have come up to him and told him that this whole thing is harder on him than on me.
I just laughed.
Thankfully Doug totally disagrees. He explained that there are days when I can't get out of bed. That I have copious amounts of chemicals flowing through my veins, that I lost all my hair, that I am facing major surgery.
All he has to do is pick up the slack at home a little bit. And since he already worked super hard this really is not a big deal to him.
He asked me what I thought. And I told him that anyone who thinks this is harder on him than me is utterly clueless.
Then he told me it might be fun to get his MBA.
And I realized he really is going off the deep end.
Healing and Dealing and super excited to only have 9 more weeks!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Day 93 - Chicken
I had a colleague come up to me today and apologize. She was embarrassed that for 93 days she had not acknowledged what I was going through. She was so afraid of what to say, and how to say it, that she just avoided me for 3 months.
And then, she burst into tears.
This confessional came as a total surprise, I am not actually keeping a tally or anything. Plus to be honest I thought she had already reached out to me.
So I told her she was brave, which she was. Then she went on to tell me how afraid she has always been of cancer. And there I stood, all of her fears realized.
Then someone else came up to me today and just gave me a hug, and told me I was their hero.
It was just one of those days.
And then, she burst into tears.
This confessional came as a total surprise, I am not actually keeping a tally or anything. Plus to be honest I thought she had already reached out to me.
So I told her she was brave, which she was. Then she went on to tell me how afraid she has always been of cancer. And there I stood, all of her fears realized.
Then someone else came up to me today and just gave me a hug, and told me I was their hero.
It was just one of those days.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Day 92 - First Born
Graham - 6
That is the future right there. There is nothing like the sponge that a 6 year old boy is. One minute Lego, the next Harry Potter. And this summer a glimmer of a love for sports.
When we first found out about my cancer - during those very dark days when we didn't know how bad things were - Graham is who I worried the most about.
He loves me that much.
He needs his mother.
I was terrified of leaving him, of the simple possibility of not being a part of his life.
Someday we will read this blog together, and we will be thankful for all that we have, and all that we have been through.
It is going to make him a better person.
Not that he was going to need any help.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Day 91 - "cancer is really inconvenient sometimes"
We don't want to give cancer too much power, especially since it won't be here long, but much like a flat tire, or a stolen wallet, sometimes it just gets in the way of a really good time.
My entire family is currently coming together in Oklahoma. Sure I have traveled the world, seen amazing things, but Oklahoma holds a very special place in my heart.
It is where all my aunts,uncles and cousins live, where my grandparents are buried.
It smells like oil, sounds like crickets, and feels like love.
We spend most of our time there on the lake, fishing, playing cards, going out on the boat, and "visiting" with everyone. Oh and there is beer, margaritas, tequila and late night dominos.
I feel like a kid when I am there. All the adults of my life take care of me there. And I really could have used it this year.
But alas that little cancer problem.
Its ok, next year will be different.
My entire family is currently coming together in Oklahoma. Sure I have traveled the world, seen amazing things, but Oklahoma holds a very special place in my heart.
It is where all my aunts,uncles and cousins live, where my grandparents are buried.
It smells like oil, sounds like crickets, and feels like love.
We spend most of our time there on the lake, fishing, playing cards, going out on the boat, and "visiting" with everyone. Oh and there is beer, margaritas, tequila and late night dominos.
I feel like a kid when I am there. All the adults of my life take care of me there. And I really could have used it this year.
But alas that little cancer problem.
Its ok, next year will be different.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Day 89 - Neither here nor there
My hair is falling out, and growing back, simultaneously.
You know how when you were a kid, and you would get a good sunburn on your shoulders, it would blister, and then you would spend hours peeling the skin, like a snake, my head is sort of like that right now.
The skin isn't peeling, but if I scratch it just a little bit, I rain dead stubble. Sort of gross, I know, but that is my reality here people.
At the same time, if you look really close I have baby bird hair growing out of my head too. Can't explain it - but there it is in all of its Big Bird glory.
One of the things I get to look forward to is what will my hair look like when it grows back. It is sort of like being pregnant and not finding out the sex of the baby until the big day. You know, one of life's last secrets. Well my hair is sort of like that.
For now - my mostly bald head looks like this:
You know how when you were a kid, and you would get a good sunburn on your shoulders, it would blister, and then you would spend hours peeling the skin, like a snake, my head is sort of like that right now.
The skin isn't peeling, but if I scratch it just a little bit, I rain dead stubble. Sort of gross, I know, but that is my reality here people.
At the same time, if you look really close I have baby bird hair growing out of my head too. Can't explain it - but there it is in all of its Big Bird glory.
One of the things I get to look forward to is what will my hair look like when it grows back. It is sort of like being pregnant and not finding out the sex of the baby until the big day. You know, one of life's last secrets. Well my hair is sort of like that.
For now - my mostly bald head looks like this:
As for those hairs that are growing back, they look blond, but perhaps are grey.
I don't really care either way- they are there, and they are good cells, and they are growing.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Day 88 - It is always something these days
I had Chemo treatment number 6 yesterday - only 10 more to go! As always there is a litany of tests before the fun begins. It goes something like this:
Step on the scale, take temperature, take pulse, take blood pressure (notice that there is no giving going on). Head to examination room, have IV inserted into port (hurts a little less each time, but it is still like stepping on a thumbtack, with your chest), take two vials of blood to be tested, wait for Dr.
Today we discovered that I am suddenly anemic. Anemia is one of the side effects of chemo, but if it gets bad enough I will be the happy recipient of a blood transfusion next week, instead of chemo. So of coarse I am on an immediate green leafy vegetable regimen (as if I wasn't already), and all sorts of other iron rich foods - we will see how it goes.
Well after all that taking, it was time for the giving, of chemo that is. Kristy was my buddy this week, and as much as I wanted to just chat with her, after the bag of benedryl they now give me at the beginning of treatment, my eyes crossed and I fell into a narcosleep like no other. I could barely shake the sleep off to drive home 2 hours later.
The great news is that I feel pretty good today. Probably the best I have felt in weeks to be honest.
Oh and the other great news. My Dr. said that if I was up for it, I should try and have a glass of red wine every now and again...will help with the anemia.
Who knew!
I may take her up on that prescription tonight.
d
Step on the scale, take temperature, take pulse, take blood pressure (notice that there is no giving going on). Head to examination room, have IV inserted into port (hurts a little less each time, but it is still like stepping on a thumbtack, with your chest), take two vials of blood to be tested, wait for Dr.
Today we discovered that I am suddenly anemic. Anemia is one of the side effects of chemo, but if it gets bad enough I will be the happy recipient of a blood transfusion next week, instead of chemo. So of coarse I am on an immediate green leafy vegetable regimen (as if I wasn't already), and all sorts of other iron rich foods - we will see how it goes.
Well after all that taking, it was time for the giving, of chemo that is. Kristy was my buddy this week, and as much as I wanted to just chat with her, after the bag of benedryl they now give me at the beginning of treatment, my eyes crossed and I fell into a narcosleep like no other. I could barely shake the sleep off to drive home 2 hours later.
The great news is that I feel pretty good today. Probably the best I have felt in weeks to be honest.
Oh and the other great news. My Dr. said that if I was up for it, I should try and have a glass of red wine every now and again...will help with the anemia.
Who knew!
I may take her up on that prescription tonight.
d
Monday, July 18, 2011
Day 85 - What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas
I think if you were to choose the number one place in the US that a cancer patient should not visit while undergoing treatment, I am pretty sure Vegas would be a contender. Too much smoke, too many grumpy people, and it is 104 outside.
But here I am - visiting a new store we are opening here in less than two weeks.
All my business travel begins the same way. I think to myself, this won't be so bad, a little alone time, good night sleep, airline miles. One hour into the flight I am already counting the moments until I am home again.
It is hard to travel when you are not feeling well, especially by yourself. Years ago when I was 8 months pregnant with Harper I had to be in Chicago. The pilot took one look at me and said, "do you have your Dr.'s permission for that?" (I actually did).
I had a complete and utter panic attack at the hotel later that night. I was too far from home, had no friends in the city, and thought I was going into labor. Everything was ok, but I swore I would never put myself in that position again.
Tonight I am going to actually do what I always set out to do. I am going to have some alone time, a good night sleep, and I will be back home in no time.
d
But here I am - visiting a new store we are opening here in less than two weeks.
All my business travel begins the same way. I think to myself, this won't be so bad, a little alone time, good night sleep, airline miles. One hour into the flight I am already counting the moments until I am home again.
It is hard to travel when you are not feeling well, especially by yourself. Years ago when I was 8 months pregnant with Harper I had to be in Chicago. The pilot took one look at me and said, "do you have your Dr.'s permission for that?" (I actually did).
I had a complete and utter panic attack at the hotel later that night. I was too far from home, had no friends in the city, and thought I was going into labor. Everything was ok, but I swore I would never put myself in that position again.
Tonight I am going to actually do what I always set out to do. I am going to have some alone time, a good night sleep, and I will be back home in no time.
d
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Day 84 - Ironman
I love NBC's coverage of the Kona Ironman competition. I am easily inspired by athletes, but for some reason the Ironman gets me more than most athletic events.
It really isn't about who wins - in usual NBC fashion it is the stories they dig up about the regular people racing.
Today it was the inspiration of several cancer survivors that hit me in my solar plexus. One who trained while going through chemotherapy so severe he had to be hospitalized, another a father who survived pancreatic cancer who was racing with his daughter.
In case you don't know what exactly an Ironman is let me put it to you this way, it is a marathon in the water (2.4 mile swim), on a bike (113 mile ride) and on the road (26.2 mile run). And people from all walks of life do them - 80 year olds, blind people, cancer survivors.
And you get 17 hours to finish it.
Now don't think I am going off the deep end here, I am not contemplating training for an Ironman.
I just needed a little motivation to go to the gym.
d
It really isn't about who wins - in usual NBC fashion it is the stories they dig up about the regular people racing.
Today it was the inspiration of several cancer survivors that hit me in my solar plexus. One who trained while going through chemotherapy so severe he had to be hospitalized, another a father who survived pancreatic cancer who was racing with his daughter.
In case you don't know what exactly an Ironman is let me put it to you this way, it is a marathon in the water (2.4 mile swim), on a bike (113 mile ride) and on the road (26.2 mile run). And people from all walks of life do them - 80 year olds, blind people, cancer survivors.
And you get 17 hours to finish it.
Now don't think I am going off the deep end here, I am not contemplating training for an Ironman.
I just needed a little motivation to go to the gym.
d
Friday, July 15, 2011
Day 82 - 50 / 50
This preview popped up on the screen last weekend while Doug and I were waiting to see Horrible Bosses (remember, we only see funny movies these days).
I was totally unprepared for it. If you ever are wondering what it feels like to have cancer - this 2+ minute preview pretty much sums it up.
I was totally unprepared for it. If you ever are wondering what it feels like to have cancer - this 2+ minute preview pretty much sums it up.
It is sad, scary, funny, life altering, awkward, embarrassing, ugly, beautiful, exhausting, exhilarating, all rolled into one.
And even good people get it.
d
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Day 81 - SHARK!
I have this really killer photo of my dad on my desk at work. It shows him holding a baby shark that he has just caught fishing from the shore in Cardiff, CA.
It is around dusk, and my friend Gretchen and I are in the water. I am sure one of us is on a boogie board and the other is on the surf board we were sharing. I can't remember which one of us realized first that my dad had caught a baby shark, but I do remember getting out of that water as fast as possible.
Baby Shark = Big Mad Mama shark.
Now any 6 year old with a shark obsession would tell you:
1. You should not swim in the ocean at dusk, this is when sharks come close to shore to eat.
2. That baby sharks mama would be no where to be seen, having bailed on that little shark long ago
But alas we were probably 14 or 15, and not too schooled on the science of sharks. I do remember my dad putting the shark back in the water, and watching it swim back out to sea.
The next morning we were back out on the water. That baby shark was never far from our minds, but the allure of the ocean was too great to keep us out.
It is around dusk, and my friend Gretchen and I are in the water. I am sure one of us is on a boogie board and the other is on the surf board we were sharing. I can't remember which one of us realized first that my dad had caught a baby shark, but I do remember getting out of that water as fast as possible.
Baby Shark = Big Mad Mama shark.
Now any 6 year old with a shark obsession would tell you:
1. You should not swim in the ocean at dusk, this is when sharks come close to shore to eat.
2. That baby sharks mama would be no where to be seen, having bailed on that little shark long ago
But alas we were probably 14 or 15, and not too schooled on the science of sharks. I do remember my dad putting the shark back in the water, and watching it swim back out to sea.
The next morning we were back out on the water. That baby shark was never far from our minds, but the allure of the ocean was too great to keep us out.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Day 79 - Game on
I remember a time when hitting a shot met something so completely different. My mom could tell you how many points I scored against Lisa Leslie in one of my greatest basketball victories ever. In fact Lisa once attended an event we had a lucy, and my mom suggested I go up to her and introduce myself. I thought better of it. Figured I would get the wrong kind of shot that day.
So today I hit the shot again today. My white blood cells jumped right back where they needed to be, and I was able to receive treatment. The first bag of meds was benadryl - the reason being - taxol sometimes causes an allergic reaction, so the bag of benadryl is a little prevention.
It also causes major narcosleepiness. Within about 10 mins I was snug as a bug in my lounge chair. Poor Doug was left to his own devices, which meant he read 2 magazines and 3 journals. As for me, my throat hurt 3 hours later thanks to my full mouth breathing sleep.
So now I have 11 more testaments. If all goes as planned we will finish in October.
Right in time for my mom's 70th birthday.
Looks like I have a pretty good shot.
d
So today I hit the shot again today. My white blood cells jumped right back where they needed to be, and I was able to receive treatment. The first bag of meds was benadryl - the reason being - taxol sometimes causes an allergic reaction, so the bag of benadryl is a little prevention.
It also causes major narcosleepiness. Within about 10 mins I was snug as a bug in my lounge chair. Poor Doug was left to his own devices, which meant he read 2 magazines and 3 journals. As for me, my throat hurt 3 hours later thanks to my full mouth breathing sleep.
So now I have 11 more testaments. If all goes as planned we will finish in October.
Right in time for my mom's 70th birthday.
Looks like I have a pretty good shot.
d
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Day 77 - Betty Ford
As most of you know Betty Ford passed away this week. I thought I would share the top 5 things that made Betty Ford the Ultimate Bossy.
1. She always spoke her mind. Betty openly celebrated the passing of Roe v. Wade - even though her husband (the President by the way), and their political party were adamantly against it. No matter where you stand on the issue, that is still Super Courageous Bossy.
2. She was accomplished. At 20 she moved to NYC and danced with Martha Graham. Talented Bossy.
3. She was a feminist. Betty spoke often in support of the Equal Rights Amendment. For those of you who don't think that was such a big deal watch seasons 1-4 of Mad Men and thank your lucky stars for ladies like Betty. Anti Betty Draper Bossy.
4. She founded the Betty Ford center. A place for alcoholics and drug addicts to come and get their Bossy back.
5. She was a survivor. Two months after entering the White House she discovered she had breast cancer. It was 1974, a time when these issues were never openly spoken about she went public and urged women to have breast cancer examinations.
She had a masectomy, and 2 years of chemotheropy. I can not imagine what it took for her to get through that, but alas she did, and in 1976 was cancer free.
She didn't let breast cancer define her - proclaiming, "Once it is done, put it behind you and go on with your life."
She lived to be 93 and was the ultimate Bossy Warrior.
And I look forward to following her lead.
1. She always spoke her mind. Betty openly celebrated the passing of Roe v. Wade - even though her husband (the President by the way), and their political party were adamantly against it. No matter where you stand on the issue, that is still Super Courageous Bossy.
2. She was accomplished. At 20 she moved to NYC and danced with Martha Graham. Talented Bossy.
3. She was a feminist. Betty spoke often in support of the Equal Rights Amendment. For those of you who don't think that was such a big deal watch seasons 1-4 of Mad Men and thank your lucky stars for ladies like Betty. Anti Betty Draper Bossy.
4. She founded the Betty Ford center. A place for alcoholics and drug addicts to come and get their Bossy back.
5. She was a survivor. Two months after entering the White House she discovered she had breast cancer. It was 1974, a time when these issues were never openly spoken about she went public and urged women to have breast cancer examinations.
She had a masectomy, and 2 years of chemotheropy. I can not imagine what it took for her to get through that, but alas she did, and in 1976 was cancer free.
She didn't let breast cancer define her - proclaiming, "Once it is done, put it behind you and go on with your life."
She lived to be 93 and was the ultimate Bossy Warrior.
And I look forward to following her lead.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Day 75 - Sometimes I am my worst enemy
Well no chemo for me today. That is the bad news. The good news is that we got to the bottom to why I have been feeling so terrible.
Seems my white blood cells have taken a small vacation, courtesy of my newly acquired "chemo brain", which joins my already severe case of momnesia. You see I completely forgot to get my immunity booster shot two Saturdays ago. Without the shot my white blood cells take a powder, and my body begins to sort of shut down.
So let me be the poster child to all of you for what not to do while undergoing chemo. Remember to get your anti nausea medication prescription filled, don't forget your booster shot. Hopefully there will not be a third thing to this already depressing list!
I got the shot today and can already feel my fog lifting. I actually spent the entire day out of bed, which I was honestly sort of melting into. We may have to flip the mattress this weekend to get my indentation out of it.
Doug is relieved to have me back. He has been a trouper this past week. Honestly I don't know how he does it - don't forget he works a full day and then gets to come home and take care of EVERYONE. So anyone wanting to kidnap him for a round of golf, or just a peaceful moment come steal him - I will manage.
Back to Chemo - it is rescheduled for Tuesday as long as my counts jump back up, which I am confident will happen., and then we are off to the races again.
Watch out world - tomorrow morning I will be back in fully Bossy mode.
Seems my white blood cells have taken a small vacation, courtesy of my newly acquired "chemo brain", which joins my already severe case of momnesia. You see I completely forgot to get my immunity booster shot two Saturdays ago. Without the shot my white blood cells take a powder, and my body begins to sort of shut down.
So let me be the poster child to all of you for what not to do while undergoing chemo. Remember to get your anti nausea medication prescription filled, don't forget your booster shot. Hopefully there will not be a third thing to this already depressing list!
I got the shot today and can already feel my fog lifting. I actually spent the entire day out of bed, which I was honestly sort of melting into. We may have to flip the mattress this weekend to get my indentation out of it.
Doug is relieved to have me back. He has been a trouper this past week. Honestly I don't know how he does it - don't forget he works a full day and then gets to come home and take care of EVERYONE. So anyone wanting to kidnap him for a round of golf, or just a peaceful moment come steal him - I will manage.
Back to Chemo - it is rescheduled for Tuesday as long as my counts jump back up, which I am confident will happen., and then we are off to the races again.
Watch out world - tomorrow morning I will be back in fully Bossy mode.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Day 74 - Chemo 2.0
So tomorrow I have my next round of Chemo treatments - this is when Taxol is added to my blood stream. Hopefully I will actually be able to receive treatment since I have been fighting some ridiculous summer virus for the last few days that has sapped me of any energy, and honestly my sense of humor.
Being the competitive person that I am, the last thing I want to do is miss a treatment, but it is what it is as they say. I had an emergency appointment with my acupuncturist yesterday and had more needles on my face than a porcupine last night. Seems to have helped a ton, but the Western Dr.'s will have the last word tomorrow.
Doug is going to be my buddy, which will be a sort of macabre date night I suppose.
I keep having this fantasy that the Dr.'s are going to tell me that the first Chemo did the trick, and we can just cancel the remaining 12. Magical Thinking I suppose, but don't crush this girls dreams.
If not, don't worry about me, I will get through this.
d
Being the competitive person that I am, the last thing I want to do is miss a treatment, but it is what it is as they say. I had an emergency appointment with my acupuncturist yesterday and had more needles on my face than a porcupine last night. Seems to have helped a ton, but the Western Dr.'s will have the last word tomorrow.
Doug is going to be my buddy, which will be a sort of macabre date night I suppose.
I keep having this fantasy that the Dr.'s are going to tell me that the first Chemo did the trick, and we can just cancel the remaining 12. Magical Thinking I suppose, but don't crush this girls dreams.
If not, don't worry about me, I will get through this.
d
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Day 72 - From the mouths of babes
I spent a lot of time in bed this weekend. All my running around and bossieness just seemed to catch up with me. On Sunday Doug refused to let me out of bed, and I happily complied.
The kids knew where to find me, and I ended up playing countless games of Go Fish and Candyland with Harper. Now I don't know about you, but I hate Candyland. Especially when playing with the most competitive 5 year old I ever met (and yes, I do know where she got that trait thankyouverymuch).
In one game Harper pulled the peanut brittle, the napoleon ice cream, the lollipops, the candy hearts and the candy canes - all in the wrong order. One minute she was up, another she was down - and when she finally succumbed to my superior card pulling skills she demanded a rematch, which she thankfully won.
Go Fish was much more enjoyable. When I was a little girl I loved card games. When I was too young to play my aunts tell me I would just sit in my Dad's lap and watch for hours. Harper is much the same.
Later that night, back for more game time, Harper found a tape measure that once belonged to my dad.
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She became fascinated by it, measuring all sorts of things in our bedroom - locking the tape open, counting the numbers on the tape.
Finally she said, "I bet your dad is thinking of me right now".
I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me, and could only reply, "I bet he is".
The kids knew where to find me, and I ended up playing countless games of Go Fish and Candyland with Harper. Now I don't know about you, but I hate Candyland. Especially when playing with the most competitive 5 year old I ever met (and yes, I do know where she got that trait thankyouverymuch).
In one game Harper pulled the peanut brittle, the napoleon ice cream, the lollipops, the candy hearts and the candy canes - all in the wrong order. One minute she was up, another she was down - and when she finally succumbed to my superior card pulling skills she demanded a rematch, which she thankfully won.
Go Fish was much more enjoyable. When I was a little girl I loved card games. When I was too young to play my aunts tell me I would just sit in my Dad's lap and watch for hours. Harper is much the same.
Later that night, back for more game time, Harper found a tape measure that once belonged to my dad.
She became fascinated by it, measuring all sorts of things in our bedroom - locking the tape open, counting the numbers on the tape.
Finally she said, "I bet your dad is thinking of me right now".
I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me, and could only reply, "I bet he is".
Friday, July 1, 2011
Day 68 - A reminder
It has been a tough week. My Bossiness reached an all time low yesterday. Maybe it was the ridiculous 7am meeting I had to attend, maybe it was the 4am Harris wake-up call as he snuggled into bed between us, or perhaps it was just my body telling me to SLOW DOWN.
Needless to say I left the office around 10am to "work from home". To be honest this consisted of me lying in bed trying to find a comfortable position and sleep. For someone as exhausted as I was you would think this would have been simple. But alas it was a futile effort. So I just ended up actually working from home.
Which was a good thing. I enjoy my job - most days I enjoy being in the office - but yesterday was not one of them. A women I don't know actually said to me, "didn't you used to have really long hair?". Ummm yup, and I also didn't used to have cancer.
I am beginning to rebel against long hair - seems like everyone has it, and that being bald, or having a cute little pixie is the way to go. And as soon as I get a little sun on my head I think I may just sport my baldness around town. Strangely enough I am not actually bald bald. More like a week of stubble, depending on your ethnicity, which for some reason I think is actually quite attractive.
So anyway - yesterday was rough - I wasn't walking the talk as they say, and then the mailman came and delivered me this:
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from my Seattle Sisters - Trilby and Suzie. It could not have come at a better time. It gave me my Bossiness back, it lifted my spirits, and it reminded me yes cancer sucks, but you know what, I am in charge here.
d
Needless to say I left the office around 10am to "work from home". To be honest this consisted of me lying in bed trying to find a comfortable position and sleep. For someone as exhausted as I was you would think this would have been simple. But alas it was a futile effort. So I just ended up actually working from home.
Which was a good thing. I enjoy my job - most days I enjoy being in the office - but yesterday was not one of them. A women I don't know actually said to me, "didn't you used to have really long hair?". Ummm yup, and I also didn't used to have cancer.
I am beginning to rebel against long hair - seems like everyone has it, and that being bald, or having a cute little pixie is the way to go. And as soon as I get a little sun on my head I think I may just sport my baldness around town. Strangely enough I am not actually bald bald. More like a week of stubble, depending on your ethnicity, which for some reason I think is actually quite attractive.
So anyway - yesterday was rough - I wasn't walking the talk as they say, and then the mailman came and delivered me this:
from my Seattle Sisters - Trilby and Suzie. It could not have come at a better time. It gave me my Bossiness back, it lifted my spirits, and it reminded me yes cancer sucks, but you know what, I am in charge here.
d
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