another day

Nurse called yesterday - you all know what that means.  The bits they removed last week, being the good little solders they were, carried zero cancer.

We celebrated by drinking tea and watching a movie after the kids went to bed.

We also, for some reason, had a conversation about the day of my mastectomy.

If I had to zero in on the worst day, after the first day, in all of this it would have been, Tuesday, October 18th.

When I am nervous, or scared, or really super mad, I become very still and very quiet.  That morning, Doug said, I spoke maybe 10 words.

Then I led my little tribe of my mom, my sister, and Doug into the hospital.  I had to keep all of them behind me, because if I looked at them I would have fallen apart.

Doug told me, for the first time, that he was devastated by that day.  That he wanted more than anything for me to turn around and go back home.

We did have a laugh about how terrible I looked.  If any of you remember, at this point I had no eyebrows, eye lashes, a little bit of hair, and horrible cysts all over my face.

But we got through that day, and all the days that led up to today.

It feels like we have been at this forever (17 months actually), but slowly we are moving towards our normal lives.

I told Doug that our theme for 2013 is going to be, "have fun and no cancer talk."