Keep your paws to yourself

Had another check up today - this time with my Radiologist.

This is my least favorite office (in the basement, no cell coverage), but with the best parking (I still have my radiology permit), and a great Dr.

Sometimes I sit in those offices, and I wonder what the Dr's. and nurses must think of me.  They always, and I mean always, comment on my shoes.

I have a favorite pair of silver oxfords that I wore for the majority of last year.  There was a bit of CHAP paint splashed on them, and they made me feel invincible.  They are literally falling apart, so I have retired them for now.

They were sort of like my secret weapon.  Along with the silver shoes, I also wore a ring that some friends gave me for my 40th birthday.  In fact I still wear it most days.  It reminds me that I have people all over who love me.

Anyway, back to the radiologist.  First thing he says to me is, "you changed your shoes."  It took me a while (thanks chemo brain), to figure out what he was saying.  I guess he misses the silver shoes too.

These appointments are super random because for some reason your radiologist wants to see how your implants are faring after radiation cooked them inside your body for a few months.

I kid you not when I say the gymnastic gyrations that my breasts were put through fell into one of these three categories:

A.  Ticklish:  You know those piano playing fingers that are employed to circle around your breasts during an exam, sort of that kneading dough with ones fingertips move.  I hate that.  I swear I had to think about dead puppies just to keep myself from collapsing from the giggles.  

B.  Awkward:  I mean really, what do you talk about when someone you barely know is feeling you up.  For like 5 minutes.  I don't know what anyone with any degree of modesty does in this situation.  It must be more painful for them than all the treatments combined.

C.  Vengeful:  I am pretty sure my Dr. was trying to break up all the scar tissue around my chest at once.  He pushed and pulled and smashed my implants as if he had some sort of vendetta against me.  

After all that he simply told me he thought they looked really good.

To which I replied, "then next time look with your eyes."

HA!