I am really great at compartmentalizing things.
Breaking down a big problem into much smaller, easier to bite bits.
This skill was likely learned at Basketball practice. While I could practice Volleyball for hours and hours, I dreaded each and every Basketball practice of my life.
It was the games I loved.
But alas, you spend more time in practice. So in order to get through years and years of practice, I would try and get through each drill, then the scrimmage, and last running lines, bit by bit.
This is the same philosophy I used when facing 16 rounds of chemo.
It is what got me through a bilateral mastectomy + reconstruction.
And it is what I will pull from as I begin 33 radiation treatments tomorrow.
One of the strikes against radiation is that it is the least social of all cancer treatments. No chemo buddies allowed.
In fact the nurses and radiologists don't even get that close to you.
Tomorrow I go in at 11am, and since I go at it alone, I am hoping that if you find yourself daydreaming about lunch toss a few good thoughts my way too.
That machine kind of looks lonely.
Think about the power of radiation, of how it will seek and destroy any rouge cancer cells, of how it is going to give us all peace of mind.
I will be focusing on my mantra.
Long Life.
H+D
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Dawnn I had radiation on my head back in 2004, it is lonely. The treatments were long 6-9 minutes I forget now which. I got metal taped to my head to protect my eyes. I mediated through the treatment. Thankfully I only had 20. I thought of the radiation as a white light of healing coming into my head and killing off the bad cells and flowing out of my body taking the bad cells with it. Anyway... I have been lymphoma free ever since and the Dr has been amazed because what I had should have returned. Well I say no way it all when away never to return... Best wishes Dawnn, you've been through so much. This part will be lonely, but you will heal and deal. You'll get tired. It's another sucky part of radiation, but you'll get to be your energy back and watch out world because you have kids to raise, a husband to love and see the world with, sisters to laugh and love and a mom who will be there with lots of hugs!
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