Day 237

When you have had cancer, sometimes people see you and cry.  

It comes out of no where, and from the unlikeliest sources.  Today it was a waitress who has served our family for years.

I get it. I have done it myself to someone before. Cancer is a super scary word.

Years ago I read this amazing essay about the scariest word in the English language. After much rumination around words like cancer, murder, disemboweled, the author landed on unless.

The plane will land safely unless...
Your daughter will be ok unless...

Unless is sort of like the monster under the bed.

But now that I have won the cancer lottery, I would say that no word has ever scared me more. 

Cancer has some serioulsy well deserved bad PR.

I have wondered if I will ever feel like cancer was a blessing.  That it has changed me in so many ways that it was worth it.

I doubt it.

Cancer sucks.

It makes a lot of people cry.