Unfortunately, if one lives long enough, one will experience grief. According to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross there are five stages:
Denial - Anger - Bargaining - Depression - Acceptance.
I think it is safe to say you can go through them all at once, over the coarse of a single day, or for years, each stage ebbing and flowing on its own.
When I was first diagnosed I think I went through all 5 stages in my typical sleepy morning haze. I kept waiting for that great feeling of, "it was only a bad dream" to wash over me, and take cancer away. When that didn't happen I would push through all the way to acceptance before the sleep was wiped from my eyes.
That great nurse who so many months ago told me that, "this is not a death sentence" also told me that I needed to grieve the loss I will experience with my bilateral mastectomy on Tuesday.
Yesterday I went for a long solitary walk, and I tried to get myself through all 5 stages. Pretty sure I have landed on acceptance, but I have to be honest, I hoped to live my life with all my body parts intact.
I also hoped to win a gold medal at the Olympics, and I have gotten over that.
Like the great Rolling Stones sing:
"You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you might find
You get what you need"
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