Day 62 - Volleyball

Today while I was resting I stumbled upon the USA Men's Volleyball team on ESPN.  There was a time, long long ago, where you might be able to catch me on TV playing a game.  Today I watched someone that I used to babysit play.

I have identified myself as an athlete for the majority of my life.  For a while there it was my singular identity.  There was not a weekend of my youth that did not include a sporting event or two.  In college I focused on my volleyball career more than my academic one.

After I retired from volleyball it took me a long time to slowly shut down that part of me.  Many of my Elephant Girlfriends were made on one team or another, and most of my personal success was found on a court.  To walk away from that is difficult.  But no matter how many years I spend away from the girl I used to be,  I still feel her competitive spirit.

A few years ago I was completely taken aback when I was inducted into the University of Oregon Athletic Hall of fame.  It was nice to dip my toe back into my past.  To relive my glory days, even for just one night.

As I fight through chemo, and my cancer weeks, I wonder, will I someday feel about cancer the way I now feel about my athletic career.  Will it be a distant memory?  Will it almost seem like someone else life?  Will anyone other than myself even remember what this all felt like?

Personally I hope so.  Kind of like how the boy who I used to babysit, who now plays on the US National Team will never remember me, I hope my friends and family will soon put this behind us.  We can remember it once in a while, but it will be great when it slowly fades from all of our memories.

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