Day 365-

I don't even know where to begin.

It has been the hardest year of my life.

Today one of my closest friends wrote me the following note. "thank you for going through Hell to be with all of us."

I simply want to tell the universe, thank you for giving me such a big, beautiful life. One worth fighting for. Full of friends and family who will never look at me the same way.

And that is ok.

It is interesting to be the person in the room that people are afraid may be a goner.

My reality put a hyper-focus on all my relationships, good and bad. It brought me closer to some people, and clarified my relationships with others.

I am in no way perfect. I do not hold the key to living in the moment. I do not have an extensive bucket list to follow.

But I will tell you that it is the simple things in life, the small things that you love to do, that you will worry about loosing. Not trips to Paris, not winning the lottery, not getting promoted.

You will hope to live to see your children graduate, from elementary school, middle school, high school, college.

You will hope to live to see them all married, and happily on their way to their own big beautiful life.

You will hope to hold your husbands hand, through each of those milestones.

You will hope that not one person you love ever calls you to tell you they have cancer.

I can not wrap my head around the fact that a year has gone by.

Tonight as Doug and I and a few friends celebrate this milestone I will toast you all.

I am not sure I could have done it without you.

Love, D