Day 361 - The elephant in the room

Last Friday I had an appointment with my oncologist.

A total routine appointment, that I was all worked up over.

For a few days I had been experiencing a "burning sensation" in my back.  I went so far as to locate what organs could be bothering me, and immediately suspected my kidneys.

I explained this to my Dr., who immediately said, "OK, lets talk about the elephant in the room.  It is highly doubtful that this is anything to worry about, but why don't you stop taking all medication for a week, and if nothing has changed, we will do some scans."

She then asked if anyone had reviewed my latest echo cardiogram with me.  It seems that the part of my heart that pumps out the blood is actually quite lazy.  The baseline for this pumping is 50 and I have dropped below that baseline.

A few things could be causing this.  My radiation to the left side of my body, as well as the Herception I am infused with every 3 weeks.

Being the competitive person that I am, I wanted to know what I could do about it.  Which, surprisingly, is nothing.  My heart is in good shape, except for this little, "malfunction".

The concern is congestive heart failure.  (!)  Not much I can do about it, except sit back, and wait.

With this on my mind I have been in quite a fog.  The burning sensation in my back is going away, so it was either the meds, or my head playing tricks on me - likely both.

Last night when I came home I let all of this anxiety pour out to Doug, and finally said, "I am just super tired".

Doug just laughed and said, "So am I" as all 3 kids whirled around us at a million miles an hour.

Instead of thinking that all my aches and pains are related to cancer, I realized a more likely culprit.

I am getting old.

Heal and Deal

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