Day 300 - "Our Hearts are Broken"

I must warn you - this is not a happy, one more day of radiation post.  I hope to get to that place tomorrow, but right now I need to tell you a story that may leave you with a broken heart too.

Readers of this blog will recall that around Day 114, a few days after Kayla died, I wrote a post about a friend who was experiencing a recurrence of Breast Cancer.

My friend, "S", had been incredibly supportive to me during the first dark days of diagnosis.  She reached out, told me her story, and promised to help me in any way possible.  I loved writing to her, since she was 4 years ahead of me in her cancer experience, and was living a full happy life with her husband and two sweet children.

On Day 114 she let me know that her greatest fears had been realized.  Cancer was back, this time it was in her bones and, "having a party in her liver".

Not the party any of us would ever want to be invited to.

I remember the day vividly.  We were up at our mountain house with my Mom and Doug's parents.  I sat in my room for a bit in total shock.

My first selfish thought was, "wait, this can come back?!?"

Up until that point I thought, chemo, surgery, maybe radiation, done.  No mas.  Cancer Free.  Long life.

"S" brought me back to reality, quickly.  She knew I was going to struggle with he news, and immediately reminded me in the most beautiful of ways, "you are not me.  This is not going to happen to you".

But it is happening to her.  Let's take me completely out of the equation - this is not about me.

This is about a friend, who at 41, has just been told that there are no longer any options.  She has been told her life can now be measured in, "weeks".

Her children will learn this harsh reality today.

I cried my way through a hot shower, through brushing my teeth, through getting dressed.  When I told Doug I cried some more.

Her husband said it best:


"I always thought she would beat it. She could always handle doing a hundred things at once. If she wanted to do something; she was always successful at it. I figured this would be another thing she accomplished. She is the strongest person I know."


Trust me, if you knew her, you would agree.  She is totally kick-ass.


I LOVE YOU "S"


Struggling to H+D today.