Day 65 - Ghost

I'm so over chemo.  I feel this way about it right around 5 days post treatment each time .  I wake up in the morning, ready to conquer the day, and by around 1pm I just want to find my way back in bed and sleep.

Chemo makes me feel like a ghost in my own life.  I sort of float in and out of the kids lives, in and out of my work life, in and out of all my relationships.  I really want to solidly be there, trust me I do, but most of the time I am struggling to stay upright.

But Casper was a friendly ghost right...think of me that way.

Some days I worry about what I am missing, how much the kids are noticing - just 7 months ago that photo right over there was taken.  This was one of the best days as a Duck fan I have ever experienced.  Doesn't my hair look good?  Don't I look healthy?  No ghost here.

Well by my count - I have 12 more chemo treatments.  Beginning July 8th I have them once a week - so that means by the time I am finished the Ducks will be just 2 games into their schedule.  By the time we meet the Beavers in November my hair will be growing back.

And I will no longer be a ghost.