I have this really killer photo of my dad on my desk at work. It shows him holding a baby shark that he has just caught fishing from the shore in Cardiff, CA.
It is around dusk, and my friend Gretchen and I are in the water. I am sure one of us is on a boogie board and the other is on the surf board we were sharing. I can't remember which one of us realized first that my dad had caught a baby shark, but I do remember getting out of that water as fast as possible.
Baby Shark = Big Mad Mama shark.
Now any 6 year old with a shark obsession would tell you:
1. You should not swim in the ocean at dusk, this is when sharks come close to shore to eat.
2. That baby sharks mama would be no where to be seen, having bailed on that little shark long ago
But alas we were probably 14 or 15, and not too schooled on the science of sharks. I do remember my dad putting the shark back in the water, and watching it swim back out to sea.
The next morning we were back out on the water. That baby shark was never far from our minds, but the allure of the ocean was too great to keep us out.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Day 79 - Game on
I remember a time when hitting a shot met something so completely different. My mom could tell you how many points I scored against Lisa Leslie in one of my greatest basketball victories ever. In fact Lisa once attended an event we had a lucy, and my mom suggested I go up to her and introduce myself. I thought better of it. Figured I would get the wrong kind of shot that day.
So today I hit the shot again today. My white blood cells jumped right back where they needed to be, and I was able to receive treatment. The first bag of meds was benadryl - the reason being - taxol sometimes causes an allergic reaction, so the bag of benadryl is a little prevention.
It also causes major narcosleepiness. Within about 10 mins I was snug as a bug in my lounge chair. Poor Doug was left to his own devices, which meant he read 2 magazines and 3 journals. As for me, my throat hurt 3 hours later thanks to my full mouth breathing sleep.
So now I have 11 more testaments. If all goes as planned we will finish in October.
Right in time for my mom's 70th birthday.
Looks like I have a pretty good shot.
d
So today I hit the shot again today. My white blood cells jumped right back where they needed to be, and I was able to receive treatment. The first bag of meds was benadryl - the reason being - taxol sometimes causes an allergic reaction, so the bag of benadryl is a little prevention.
It also causes major narcosleepiness. Within about 10 mins I was snug as a bug in my lounge chair. Poor Doug was left to his own devices, which meant he read 2 magazines and 3 journals. As for me, my throat hurt 3 hours later thanks to my full mouth breathing sleep.
So now I have 11 more testaments. If all goes as planned we will finish in October.
Right in time for my mom's 70th birthday.
Looks like I have a pretty good shot.
d
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Day 77 - Betty Ford
As most of you know Betty Ford passed away this week. I thought I would share the top 5 things that made Betty Ford the Ultimate Bossy.
1. She always spoke her mind. Betty openly celebrated the passing of Roe v. Wade - even though her husband (the President by the way), and their political party were adamantly against it. No matter where you stand on the issue, that is still Super Courageous Bossy.
2. She was accomplished. At 20 she moved to NYC and danced with Martha Graham. Talented Bossy.
3. She was a feminist. Betty spoke often in support of the Equal Rights Amendment. For those of you who don't think that was such a big deal watch seasons 1-4 of Mad Men and thank your lucky stars for ladies like Betty. Anti Betty Draper Bossy.
4. She founded the Betty Ford center. A place for alcoholics and drug addicts to come and get their Bossy back.
5. She was a survivor. Two months after entering the White House she discovered she had breast cancer. It was 1974, a time when these issues were never openly spoken about she went public and urged women to have breast cancer examinations.
She had a masectomy, and 2 years of chemotheropy. I can not imagine what it took for her to get through that, but alas she did, and in 1976 was cancer free.
She didn't let breast cancer define her - proclaiming, "Once it is done, put it behind you and go on with your life."
She lived to be 93 and was the ultimate Bossy Warrior.
And I look forward to following her lead.
1. She always spoke her mind. Betty openly celebrated the passing of Roe v. Wade - even though her husband (the President by the way), and their political party were adamantly against it. No matter where you stand on the issue, that is still Super Courageous Bossy.
2. She was accomplished. At 20 she moved to NYC and danced with Martha Graham. Talented Bossy.
3. She was a feminist. Betty spoke often in support of the Equal Rights Amendment. For those of you who don't think that was such a big deal watch seasons 1-4 of Mad Men and thank your lucky stars for ladies like Betty. Anti Betty Draper Bossy.
4. She founded the Betty Ford center. A place for alcoholics and drug addicts to come and get their Bossy back.
5. She was a survivor. Two months after entering the White House she discovered she had breast cancer. It was 1974, a time when these issues were never openly spoken about she went public and urged women to have breast cancer examinations.
She had a masectomy, and 2 years of chemotheropy. I can not imagine what it took for her to get through that, but alas she did, and in 1976 was cancer free.
She didn't let breast cancer define her - proclaiming, "Once it is done, put it behind you and go on with your life."
She lived to be 93 and was the ultimate Bossy Warrior.
And I look forward to following her lead.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Day 75 - Sometimes I am my worst enemy
Well no chemo for me today. That is the bad news. The good news is that we got to the bottom to why I have been feeling so terrible.
Seems my white blood cells have taken a small vacation, courtesy of my newly acquired "chemo brain", which joins my already severe case of momnesia. You see I completely forgot to get my immunity booster shot two Saturdays ago. Without the shot my white blood cells take a powder, and my body begins to sort of shut down.
So let me be the poster child to all of you for what not to do while undergoing chemo. Remember to get your anti nausea medication prescription filled, don't forget your booster shot. Hopefully there will not be a third thing to this already depressing list!
I got the shot today and can already feel my fog lifting. I actually spent the entire day out of bed, which I was honestly sort of melting into. We may have to flip the mattress this weekend to get my indentation out of it.
Doug is relieved to have me back. He has been a trouper this past week. Honestly I don't know how he does it - don't forget he works a full day and then gets to come home and take care of EVERYONE. So anyone wanting to kidnap him for a round of golf, or just a peaceful moment come steal him - I will manage.
Back to Chemo - it is rescheduled for Tuesday as long as my counts jump back up, which I am confident will happen., and then we are off to the races again.
Watch out world - tomorrow morning I will be back in fully Bossy mode.
Seems my white blood cells have taken a small vacation, courtesy of my newly acquired "chemo brain", which joins my already severe case of momnesia. You see I completely forgot to get my immunity booster shot two Saturdays ago. Without the shot my white blood cells take a powder, and my body begins to sort of shut down.
So let me be the poster child to all of you for what not to do while undergoing chemo. Remember to get your anti nausea medication prescription filled, don't forget your booster shot. Hopefully there will not be a third thing to this already depressing list!
I got the shot today and can already feel my fog lifting. I actually spent the entire day out of bed, which I was honestly sort of melting into. We may have to flip the mattress this weekend to get my indentation out of it.
Doug is relieved to have me back. He has been a trouper this past week. Honestly I don't know how he does it - don't forget he works a full day and then gets to come home and take care of EVERYONE. So anyone wanting to kidnap him for a round of golf, or just a peaceful moment come steal him - I will manage.
Back to Chemo - it is rescheduled for Tuesday as long as my counts jump back up, which I am confident will happen., and then we are off to the races again.
Watch out world - tomorrow morning I will be back in fully Bossy mode.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Day 74 - Chemo 2.0
So tomorrow I have my next round of Chemo treatments - this is when Taxol is added to my blood stream. Hopefully I will actually be able to receive treatment since I have been fighting some ridiculous summer virus for the last few days that has sapped me of any energy, and honestly my sense of humor.
Being the competitive person that I am, the last thing I want to do is miss a treatment, but it is what it is as they say. I had an emergency appointment with my acupuncturist yesterday and had more needles on my face than a porcupine last night. Seems to have helped a ton, but the Western Dr.'s will have the last word tomorrow.
Doug is going to be my buddy, which will be a sort of macabre date night I suppose.
I keep having this fantasy that the Dr.'s are going to tell me that the first Chemo did the trick, and we can just cancel the remaining 12. Magical Thinking I suppose, but don't crush this girls dreams.
If not, don't worry about me, I will get through this.
d
Being the competitive person that I am, the last thing I want to do is miss a treatment, but it is what it is as they say. I had an emergency appointment with my acupuncturist yesterday and had more needles on my face than a porcupine last night. Seems to have helped a ton, but the Western Dr.'s will have the last word tomorrow.
Doug is going to be my buddy, which will be a sort of macabre date night I suppose.
I keep having this fantasy that the Dr.'s are going to tell me that the first Chemo did the trick, and we can just cancel the remaining 12. Magical Thinking I suppose, but don't crush this girls dreams.
If not, don't worry about me, I will get through this.
d
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Day 72 - From the mouths of babes
I spent a lot of time in bed this weekend. All my running around and bossieness just seemed to catch up with me. On Sunday Doug refused to let me out of bed, and I happily complied.
The kids knew where to find me, and I ended up playing countless games of Go Fish and Candyland with Harper. Now I don't know about you, but I hate Candyland. Especially when playing with the most competitive 5 year old I ever met (and yes, I do know where she got that trait thankyouverymuch).
In one game Harper pulled the peanut brittle, the napoleon ice cream, the lollipops, the candy hearts and the candy canes - all in the wrong order. One minute she was up, another she was down - and when she finally succumbed to my superior card pulling skills she demanded a rematch, which she thankfully won.
Go Fish was much more enjoyable. When I was a little girl I loved card games. When I was too young to play my aunts tell me I would just sit in my Dad's lap and watch for hours. Harper is much the same.
Later that night, back for more game time, Harper found a tape measure that once belonged to my dad.
![]()
She became fascinated by it, measuring all sorts of things in our bedroom - locking the tape open, counting the numbers on the tape.
Finally she said, "I bet your dad is thinking of me right now".
I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me, and could only reply, "I bet he is".
The kids knew where to find me, and I ended up playing countless games of Go Fish and Candyland with Harper. Now I don't know about you, but I hate Candyland. Especially when playing with the most competitive 5 year old I ever met (and yes, I do know where she got that trait thankyouverymuch).
In one game Harper pulled the peanut brittle, the napoleon ice cream, the lollipops, the candy hearts and the candy canes - all in the wrong order. One minute she was up, another she was down - and when she finally succumbed to my superior card pulling skills she demanded a rematch, which she thankfully won.
Go Fish was much more enjoyable. When I was a little girl I loved card games. When I was too young to play my aunts tell me I would just sit in my Dad's lap and watch for hours. Harper is much the same.
Later that night, back for more game time, Harper found a tape measure that once belonged to my dad.
She became fascinated by it, measuring all sorts of things in our bedroom - locking the tape open, counting the numbers on the tape.
Finally she said, "I bet your dad is thinking of me right now".
I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me, and could only reply, "I bet he is".
Friday, July 1, 2011
Day 68 - A reminder
It has been a tough week. My Bossiness reached an all time low yesterday. Maybe it was the ridiculous 7am meeting I had to attend, maybe it was the 4am Harris wake-up call as he snuggled into bed between us, or perhaps it was just my body telling me to SLOW DOWN.
Needless to say I left the office around 10am to "work from home". To be honest this consisted of me lying in bed trying to find a comfortable position and sleep. For someone as exhausted as I was you would think this would have been simple. But alas it was a futile effort. So I just ended up actually working from home.
Which was a good thing. I enjoy my job - most days I enjoy being in the office - but yesterday was not one of them. A women I don't know actually said to me, "didn't you used to have really long hair?". Ummm yup, and I also didn't used to have cancer.
I am beginning to rebel against long hair - seems like everyone has it, and that being bald, or having a cute little pixie is the way to go. And as soon as I get a little sun on my head I think I may just sport my baldness around town. Strangely enough I am not actually bald bald. More like a week of stubble, depending on your ethnicity, which for some reason I think is actually quite attractive.
So anyway - yesterday was rough - I wasn't walking the talk as they say, and then the mailman came and delivered me this:
![]()
from my Seattle Sisters - Trilby and Suzie. It could not have come at a better time. It gave me my Bossiness back, it lifted my spirits, and it reminded me yes cancer sucks, but you know what, I am in charge here.
d
Needless to say I left the office around 10am to "work from home". To be honest this consisted of me lying in bed trying to find a comfortable position and sleep. For someone as exhausted as I was you would think this would have been simple. But alas it was a futile effort. So I just ended up actually working from home.
Which was a good thing. I enjoy my job - most days I enjoy being in the office - but yesterday was not one of them. A women I don't know actually said to me, "didn't you used to have really long hair?". Ummm yup, and I also didn't used to have cancer.
I am beginning to rebel against long hair - seems like everyone has it, and that being bald, or having a cute little pixie is the way to go. And as soon as I get a little sun on my head I think I may just sport my baldness around town. Strangely enough I am not actually bald bald. More like a week of stubble, depending on your ethnicity, which for some reason I think is actually quite attractive.
So anyway - yesterday was rough - I wasn't walking the talk as they say, and then the mailman came and delivered me this:
from my Seattle Sisters - Trilby and Suzie. It could not have come at a better time. It gave me my Bossiness back, it lifted my spirits, and it reminded me yes cancer sucks, but you know what, I am in charge here.
d
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